The Only Way Is Essex

Meet the Essex lads and ladies who'll have you hooked, tanned and vajazzled!

The Only Way Is Essex

Mark Wright

“I could pull a bird in a Skoda.”

Mark puts the Hugh Hefner in Essex. His flash motors, expensive wardrobe and model looks get the ladies flocking. And he plays them like a fiddle. In addition to keeping his ex Lauren (Goodger, not Popey Pope) sweet in secret, he’s got Lucy on the go, Sam on the backburner and heaven knows how many other women in the wings. He sounds like a piece of work, right? Well he is, but you can’t help but love the loveable rogue. He may not be loyal in the dating game, but he is fiercely honourable when it comes to his wingman Arg, beloved Nanny Pat and sister Jessica.

Amy Childs

“The other day I didn’t even know the capital of India. I thought it was Pakistan."

What Amy lacks in IQ, she more than makes up for in spray tan, lip-gloss pouts and fake cleavage. She is the go-to beautician for the TOWIE crowd – back-and-crack waxes for the boys and vajazzles (decorating intimate body regions with stick-on jewels, no less) for the girls. Her best mate is model Sam, who she is happy to shoot with in order to kick-start her own modelling career. Every hot-blooded male has their eyes on Amy, but she is up for making a go of it with Kirk if he can curb being ‘100% well jel’ (Amy talk for ‘jealous’) and be a bit more supportive of her endeavours to make it big in the world of men’s glossy magazines.

Kirk Norcross

“But yes, I didn't enjoy it, only because my level of smartness wasn’t quite good.”

Kirk is a little less flashy, less of a player and more down-to-earth than most of his male TOWIE counterparts. He’s more beer and booze than champagne, thinks the zoo is a more romantic place to date than wining and dining at a fancy restaurant, and he has his sights set on settling down and becoming a family man rather than playing the field forever. Amy is his lady of choice, and having finally won her over, he’s not about to lose her to a modelling career or any other fella that fancies his chances. But will Kirk’s style of coupledom prove too uptight for good-time girl Amy, or will it be a match made in heaven with a fairytale ending?

Lauren Goodger

“Me and Mark will only be over, when I say it's over!"

Besides being an absolute drama queen about her nine-year on/off relationship with TOWIE hotshot Mark, Lauren’s career is starting to take shape as coordinator of Essex Fashion Week. But things get complicated when she discovers Lucy, a designer whose collection will feature in the event, is in fact Mark’s new lover. The claws are out, and Lauren is hell-bent on making Lucy’s life a misery by texting her ex a gazillion times a day, sleeping with him on the sly and getting everyone in TOWIE land involved in the domestic. Her love-hate relationship with Mark is eventually put to the ultimate test when she is offered a job on far-off shores. Will she go, or will she stay and fight for her Essex playboy?

James ‘Arg’ Argent

“I go for the side parting, so I always make sure it’s neat and smart and slick and a nice wet look.”

Having just returned from working the Spanish cabaret circuit performing sets of swinging Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin classics, James is trying to make his name as a special occasions singer and has hopes of securing a professional recording contract. His heart belongs to two people: Lydia (the girlfriend he wants to win back after sort of cheating on her in Spain) and Mark (his absolutely best mate in the whole wide world, personal eyebrow plucker and fashion advisor). Will he be able to convince Lydia that his love for her is more important than his bromance with Mark? And will Mark ever be able to get Arg to ditch his ill-fitting wardrobe for some respectable fashion-forward Essex style?

Harry Derbidge

“I did say ‘shut up!’ before the programme started, but I just never realised it.”

Harry is camper than Christmas and the loveable cousin of Amy. He likes nothing more than hanging with Amy and Sam to gossip, talk about fabulous things and fire more rounds of ‘Shuuut uuup!’ than your ears can probably take. With his sights set on taking the showbiz world by storm as a cruise ship dancer or starring in a top London West End show, Harry is mastering his moves (he can actually do the splits) and thespian skills at college. He cites Lady Gaga as his role model. Well, he confesses to being “obsessed” with her actually.

Sam Faiers

“He’s actually really caring, and wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings or upset me. I know the real Mark, who’s funny, kind and sensitive.”

Sam’s inner circle consists of Amy and Harry, but she’s quite a smart cookie in the way that she makes frenemies of her love rivals. Unbeknown to Lauren and Lucy, she is a part-time bed-buddy of Mark, and befriends them both in order to gain access to all the gossip and drama. Sam tries to act cool about her casual relationship with Mark, but she is an absolute sucker for him and secretly believes Mr Wright is her Mr Right.

Jess Wright

“I want to be known as Jess – and not just Mark’s sister. People forget I am older than him!”

Mark’s sister Jessica (the only one with the balls to tell her brother like it is) is a girl about town and pretty much on good terms with the entire TOWIE crowd. She is footloose and fancy-free, with most of her time and energy focused on hitting the music big-time with her band LOLA. Will LOLA’s debut single take the charts by storm and make her a household name, or will Jessica be forced to rethink her future with a fall-back career?

Watch Series 2 on Thursdays at 20:30 from 2 August. #essexsa